2008 MLB All-Name Team

2008 MLB All-Name Team Active Roster

Pitchers

53 David Aardsma Boston Red Sox
Has supplanted Hank Aaron as first all-time alphabetically in MLB.

66 Burke Badenhop Florida Marlins
When he has a bad outing: BADENHOP COSTS MARLINS GAME.

30 Masahide Kobayashi Cleveland Indians
Can you say this name without pretending to be a samurai?

49 Jair Jurrjens Atlanta Braves
Ja! Jair Jurrjens.

51 Wandy Rodriguez Houston Astros
Humm Wandy, humm Wandy, atta babe.

50 Frank Francisco Texas Rangers
Frank. Francisco. Frankie. Frankerooni. The Frankmeister.

50 Grant Balfour Tampa Bay Rays
Intentional walk specialist.

41 Jimmy Gobble Kansas City Royals
Don’t miss Jimmy Gobble bobblehead night.

27 Yasuhiko Yabuta Kansas City Royals
See Masahide Kobayashi.

26 Boof Bonser Minnesota Twins
Nuff said.

Catchers

8 Yorvit Torrealba Colorado Rockies
Now batting, number 8, Yor-veet Tor-re-al-ba. Torrealba!

25 Jarrod Saltalamacchia Texas Rangers
Longest last name in the history of MLB. Team hired graphic design expert and extra seamstress to get his name on the uniform.

Infielders

14 Chin-lung Hu L. A. Dodgers
First two-letter last name in the history of MLB. When he gets a base hit Hu’s on first.

6 Dan Uggla Florida Marlins
Invaluable to headline writers: MARLINS WIN UGGLA, THE GOOD THE BAD AND THE UGGLA, etc.

13 Asdrubal Cabrera Cleveland Indians
Asdrubal goes so go the Indians.

2 Jhonny Peralta Cleveland Indians
Makes the team on the spelling of his first name.

14 Placido Polanco Detroit Tigers
Known for his glove work and beautiful tenor voice.

Outfielders

17 Shin-Soo Choo Cleveland Indians
Pardon me boys, is that the batter who’s Shin-Soo Choo?

10 Coco Crisp Boston Red Sox
Perennial all-namer. He’s an outfielder. He’s a breakfast cereal.

6 Travis Buck Oakland Athletics
Played for Gil Thorp at Milford High.

32 Jack Cust Oakland Athletics
What did Jack do when he found out he was named in the Mitchell Report?

44 Lastings Milledge Washington Nationals
Character from a Kurt Vonnegut novel, a friend of Winston Niles Rumfoord, Ransom K. Fern and Philboyd Studge.

99 So Taguchi Philadelphia Phillies
He is so-o Taguchi.

19 Ryan Spilborghs Colorado Rockies
Contract with Rockies allowed his beer company to be bought out by Coors.

Designated Hitter

21 Milton Bradley Texas Rangers
Have always loved his board games, especially Parcheesi and Scrabble.

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6.13.08

A Living Nightmare

For the first time in NCAA history, the final four will include the top four seeds. For the first time in my memory, the talking heads appear to have called this one exactly. For the last couple months the estimation has been that there are four teams that are clearly superior to the rest - all four are now in the finals.

For the first time in my memory, the final four is made up of four teams I hate. UNC - please; they ooze arrogance and I've hated them since Dean Smith nearly ruined the game with the four-corners offense. KU - a backward version of UK. It didn't take 14 years in Colorado to make me hate them. UCLA - what a loathsome bunch of bloodsuckers; 11 titles, three consecutive final fours - draUCLA. And the dreaded Memphites - there's nothing to be said there other than "bite me." I hope no one wins. I hope the entire event is a ground-hog day and all four teams wake up tied over and over and over again. Probably won't happen.

I feel like UL is at the top of the next tier. I was disappointed not to get the upset, but they got beat by a better team and a better player having a better night at home in a regional final. I always look for the player who becomes a man among boys in the tournament - Tyler Hansbrough was certainly that man last night. The 17 turnovers hurt, but if you run with a good running team, that will happen. More important were the free throws (9 of 16 vs. 18 of 21) and the offensive rebounds. They punished us with offensive rebounds.

Pitino made an interesting comment afterward. The announcers and most folks at home probably were crying for him to slow down the offense and back off the press. He said the only way they could have won was to run. "UNC is too good a defensive ballclub for us to grind it out against their half-court and score enough points to win. So, our only hope was to run ourselves and try to slow their running game. In the first half we didn't slow them and you saw the results. In the second half we did a better job of controlling their break and continued scoring on ours. That's the only way we could have won the ball game." (not a direct quote, just damn close) This was a final eight team by nature and by accomplishment. UNC was more experienced and it showed down the stretch. Note the three travels after they'd gotten it tied. UL is right on schedule - next year should be their year. Next year, Earl Clark should be the man among boys if he builds on this experience. The only players they lose are Padgett, Palacios and Farley and Derek Caracter if he goes into the draft. They have a big man coming in who is supposed to be the best in the class, a guy who would probably have gone into the draft if they hadn't changed the rule. There are some other excellent prospects coming in with him. The rest of the team is mostly sophomores who should be a heck of a lot better next year, Earl Clark especially. (I doubt there's much hope for Sosa, but Tyreke Evans still might sign.)

Looking forward to the college world series.
Pedro

U.S. Airstrikes Aid Iraqi Army in Basra



Iraqis gathered on Friday at the site was (sic) what was said to be a missile strike by United States forces, backing Iraqi forces, in Baghdad’s Sadr City neighborhood.

The New York Times

From the outset it's been obvious that the occupation of Iraq ain't about the price of oil, it's about where that oil is going to get sold. The US strategy has from the outset been to build large, permanent bases in Iraq, and then to pull back into those bases. Once a government of US choosing has been established with a military able enough to handle the urban combat, US ground troops will cease to participate and US air support will be used to prop up the proxy government in whatever civil wars and insurgencies crop up. Oil will be very expensive, but there will be oil. The current energy magnates' fortunes will be secure. Civilian casualties will be very high since "smart" bombs ain't really all that smart. US casualties will be very minimal since shootin' jets down with RPGs is pretty tough. The economy will be very good for the elite, but will suck for everyone else as the slide from the middle class continues and the gap increases.

As this Shiite civil war develops, the litmus test for the presidential candidates is the position they take on this issue and the extent to which they are willing to discuss openly and honestly an imperialist policy that is transparent to everyone really paying attention. Which of them will call out the corporate entities who stand most to gain by enabling our addiction to their product? I expect neither will. Vote for Ralph.

High Rize

I think a win over UNC today would be bigger than the one over Illinois would have been in the 05 Final Four. To beat a number one seed in their own state on a floor where they have never lost gets as about as close to basketball heaven as a fan can get!

Beat a number one seed in their own state on a floor where they have never lost? No chance.

On the other hand, UNC doesn't have a senior leader like Padgett. Their big guy might be better, but our's might be smarter. The combined defensive pressure at the guard position for UL should not be disregarded. Earl Clark (E-5) might continue to mature. Palacios has been there before. Soas can't get any worse.

If UL can shoot well from the outside for three quarters, instead of just one, we'll have another Saturday to look forward to.

JWISP reports.

Neal, dude? Davidson? 10 points. That eliminates me, so I'm not tracking that one anymore. Too confusing.

Stan and Neal are tied with impressive sevens out of eights in the JWISP 1. I'm probably gone there too, but cant bare to look.

I'm headed down to the opening of the Obama headquartes downtown.

Go Cards.

Joe

(Photo by Sam Upshaw Jr., The Courier-Journal) Mar. 27, 2008

Another story from: the Land of Lard.

So this gal comes rolling in the restaurant, and she is sporting the latest

in t-shirt hip-ware. And she is fat, really H- U- G--E,

and, as a bonus, . . .

direct from the trailer park.

Takes "Get ur done" seriously.

Gentle, rolling endless layers of lard, . . . The tide was up.

the front of the shirt sez "Welcome to Louisville," with the Cardinal logo up front.

The rear of the shirt,

after some effort to find it, also reads "Welcome to Louisville, with the back side Louis-ville

modified, crossed out and replaced with "Pitino," so it reads

"Welcome to Pitinoville." . . .

very clever of our fat friend, least of all, she was also tremendously impressed with her work.

No doubt, Rick would have been proud to see his name sported about,

Where is Rick?

Where is Rick?

The Orange Man Cometh

I heard today that Vegas has the Cards as 3 point underdogs. Is this true?

Tennessee loves to press, the coach acts like a geek, and he brought the gospel of basketball to the heathen footballers at UT. There's a lot to like here. However, Mr. Pearl's nickname is Brucers.

There's a really great story surrounding that nickname. Here's how it goes:

"It was extremely funny. One of my close friends, Sean West, was being funny and thinking of something to call me. I didn't want to be BP, because then everybody would ask what it meant. So that was out of the question. I thought Pearls sounding feminine. I wanted something strong, but nothing offensive or weird. My friend, Kurt, who is playful with them kind of words called me Brucers one day so I said heck, I'll take it."

Wow, that's some story. Now that's funny! They probably never tire of hearing that one in Knoxville.

OK No More

Padgett was outstanding as he, Earl, T-Will, Jerry, DC, Andre, and yes, Terrance Farley, outplayed the Sooners. This was a classic guaranteed to reside in the tape collection of the Commish for all players, watchers, Lovers of The Game, and Geeks to reminisce about for as long as the tape is legible. In my mind it ranks up there with the win against LSU in 1980. Beautiful!

(Photo by Matt Stone, The Courier-Journal) March 23, 2008